Black Coffee Confession
Over breakfast this morning I finally confessed to my mother that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. That wasn't the real confession: it was really that I'm ok with not knowing. It's scary at times, so many of my friends have already graduated from college, and have started into the "real world" and so I feel the pressure, but for some reason, I'm not worried.
I was sitting on the bus on my way up to Boston to visit my brother, when I saw a young professional looking guy typing on his laptop and just looking generally miserable. So of course I sit across from him and start to talk to him. Turns out, he's just a year older than me, and has started his "real job" three days before. He looks at me, takes off his tie and says "I'm just waiting till they realize that I'm an imposter. I have no idea what I'm doing. I give it two weeks." He graduated from Dartmouth with a degree in economics and history (or something) and decided the corporate life was for him. He laughed and sighed at the same time and told me about his cubicle. He was 22 years old and already couldn't wait to retire. I told him about my 7 months in spain, my college lifestyle and my plans to return to europe as soon as humanly possible and he just said sadly "I wish I could do that. But it's too late now." Since when is 22 too old to pick up and leave? I told him he should just not get off at his stop in connecticut. He should just stay on the train and see where the end of the line was. After all, his company was paying for his ticket. The suggestion excited him, I could tell a part of him was considering it. But when his stop came, he simply picked up his stuff, shook my hand and left. And that was it.
Just the idea of having a life track, a fast track or anything offically planned out kind of makes me frightened. I'm terrified of the thought of taking my Psychology GREs because that means that I am committing myself to studying psychology for grad school. How could I do that, when I don't even know if I want to pursue psychology? Law, international relations, public policy, teaching... I need to think about my options, consider each one to determine which will give me the type of lifestyle I want and need to have.
It's incredible how many people are not happy with their lives. They live in "the real world" have a "safe, secure, lifestyle" and always say "I wish.. but I can't." Most people are content, but not happy. I just don't understand why people are content with mediocrity in their lives. You're only you once. Might as well make the best of it.
Our lives are the stories we tell ourselves. If you're going to have a story, you might as well make it an adventure story.
I was sitting on the bus on my way up to Boston to visit my brother, when I saw a young professional looking guy typing on his laptop and just looking generally miserable. So of course I sit across from him and start to talk to him. Turns out, he's just a year older than me, and has started his "real job" three days before. He looks at me, takes off his tie and says "I'm just waiting till they realize that I'm an imposter. I have no idea what I'm doing. I give it two weeks." He graduated from Dartmouth with a degree in economics and history (or something) and decided the corporate life was for him. He laughed and sighed at the same time and told me about his cubicle. He was 22 years old and already couldn't wait to retire. I told him about my 7 months in spain, my college lifestyle and my plans to return to europe as soon as humanly possible and he just said sadly "I wish I could do that. But it's too late now." Since when is 22 too old to pick up and leave? I told him he should just not get off at his stop in connecticut. He should just stay on the train and see where the end of the line was. After all, his company was paying for his ticket. The suggestion excited him, I could tell a part of him was considering it. But when his stop came, he simply picked up his stuff, shook my hand and left. And that was it.
Just the idea of having a life track, a fast track or anything offically planned out kind of makes me frightened. I'm terrified of the thought of taking my Psychology GREs because that means that I am committing myself to studying psychology for grad school. How could I do that, when I don't even know if I want to pursue psychology? Law, international relations, public policy, teaching... I need to think about my options, consider each one to determine which will give me the type of lifestyle I want and need to have.
It's incredible how many people are not happy with their lives. They live in "the real world" have a "safe, secure, lifestyle" and always say "I wish.. but I can't." Most people are content, but not happy. I just don't understand why people are content with mediocrity in their lives. You're only you once. Might as well make the best of it.
Our lives are the stories we tell ourselves. If you're going to have a story, you might as well make it an adventure story.
posted by Jessica @ 3:37 PM
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