Looking-glass selves
The way we view ourselves based off of our (incorrect) beliefs about the way others perceive us (Tice et al, 2003)
How much of us is real, and how much did we fabricate to suite what we think we shouild be? Whose expectations am I living up to? My own? Yours? What I think yours are? How much of me is something I created to meet your idea of me?
It makes sense: most of us, independent of society, would have pretty positive self concepts: no one was born thinking they're *that bad.* And we know this, inherently. So we judge ourselves, our self worth, our vere self-concept, based off of what others think of us. People tell me I'm an activist, so I become an activist. Studies show that if a child is percieved as delinquent amongst his/her peers, s/he will go out of his/her way to commit delinquent acts. If a student is percieved as intelligent by his/her professor, s/he will act intelligent. A self-fulfilling prophecy. But most of the time, we don't really know what people think of us. We can only guess. And because we are human, we usually guess wrong. And so the real effect arises when we act the way we *think* our peers want us to. Perhaps "want" is the wrong word- "expect" may be better.
And so this relates back to the ridiculous/semihilarious commentary on the dating scene at Hamilton:
Girls are told that we want relationships. Boys are told they shouldn't want relationships. Girls think that boys don't want relationships, boys think that girls always want relationships. Boys who hook up with girls think that the girl thinks he doesn't want a relationship, when really he doesn't know what he wants. Girls who hook up with boys think that the boy thinks she wants a relationship, when really she doesn't know what she wants. And so she does, and so he doesn't. And then it all falls down.
Life is so silly when you look at it like that. We should just laugh at ourselves, and how silly we are, leading out our insignificant lives, clinging to every moment of our soap opera dramas of lives: he slept with her, she loves someone else, girls are so complicated, boys are so cold. I'm so tired. Turn off the reality tv. Give me some good tunes, a dark room and a bed and i'll be set forever.
How much of us is real, and how much did we fabricate to suite what we think we shouild be? Whose expectations am I living up to? My own? Yours? What I think yours are? How much of me is something I created to meet your idea of me?
It makes sense: most of us, independent of society, would have pretty positive self concepts: no one was born thinking they're *that bad.* And we know this, inherently. So we judge ourselves, our self worth, our vere self-concept, based off of what others think of us. People tell me I'm an activist, so I become an activist. Studies show that if a child is percieved as delinquent amongst his/her peers, s/he will go out of his/her way to commit delinquent acts. If a student is percieved as intelligent by his/her professor, s/he will act intelligent. A self-fulfilling prophecy. But most of the time, we don't really know what people think of us. We can only guess. And because we are human, we usually guess wrong. And so the real effect arises when we act the way we *think* our peers want us to. Perhaps "want" is the wrong word- "expect" may be better.
And so this relates back to the ridiculous/semihilarious commentary on the dating scene at Hamilton:
Girls are told that we want relationships. Boys are told they shouldn't want relationships. Girls think that boys don't want relationships, boys think that girls always want relationships. Boys who hook up with girls think that the girl thinks he doesn't want a relationship, when really he doesn't know what he wants. Girls who hook up with boys think that the boy thinks she wants a relationship, when really she doesn't know what she wants. And so she does, and so he doesn't. And then it all falls down.
Life is so silly when you look at it like that. We should just laugh at ourselves, and how silly we are, leading out our insignificant lives, clinging to every moment of our soap opera dramas of lives: he slept with her, she loves someone else, girls are so complicated, boys are so cold. I'm so tired. Turn off the reality tv. Give me some good tunes, a dark room and a bed and i'll be set forever.
posted by Jessica @ 7:31 PM
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