Oh stereotypes
I went to the Infectious Disease doctor today. No, I don't have an infectious disease(however after the results of my 6-degrees of separation through sex diagram, it's a wonder we're not all suffering from some flesh-eating plague. Ew.)I needed a perscription for some Malaria pills. Why on earth would I want to take those? Well, I really don't want to. I'm not looking forward to it. But I have to because I'm going to a rural part of Honduras on Sunday. Therefore, I must choke down these pills once a week for the next month, or, you know, get Malaria. Anyway, I arrive at the hospital, and go into the waiting room, where this adorable old man is sitting by himself on a bench. I sit down next to him and he asks "So do you have an infectious disease too?" I laughed awkwardly and told him my whole Malaria pill monologue. Turns out he's a farmer from a nearby town, who got an infection in his knee from exposure to chicken poop. Yeah that's right, infectious chicken poo. He's had his knee replaced 4 times already, he says to me, shaking his head. "At least I got a ride over here on the ambulance" he said "but that driver, he took the most roundabout route to get here. And I yelled at him from the back- where ya goin?- and he said -they pay me by the mile!- So I scolded him. - You drive like a fucking woman!" I giggled. I hate sexism, but man it sure is funny when it comes out of an old man's mouth.
So I got my perscription for the pills, and on my way home stopped at the grocery store. Picked up some cat food, a pint of ben & jerry's, and two bags of mint milanos. And as I'm checking out, I realize how ridiculously stereotypical I must look: definitely a single twenty-something female. I might as well have it stamped on my forehead "Hello I'm single: Save me before I turn into a cat lady!" Damn.
I'm doing the stereotypical "i've-got-6-weeks-of-college-left-until-the-real-world smacks-me-in-the-face" job hunt. The "oh-fuck-what-now?" job hunt. I've been looking abroad, I'm thinking Ireland or New Zealand at this point. Maybe Spain. I just can't stay on the east coast any longer. To be honest though, I'll probably end up in NYC just like everyone else. Thats one thing I love about going to a small liberal arts college- it's getting to this point where everyone's like "oh whatever, i'm never going to see you again" but you just wait! We'll run into eachother in the checkout line at Whole Foods, or in a bar somewhere downtown. Happens every time.
Whatever. Manhattan is fine, as long as I don't get one of those financial analyst consultant blah blah blah jobs. Seriously. I'd rather do manual labor than sit at a desk all day, spacing out.The sad thing is, though, so many of my talented friends have those jobs. The idea behind it: to get enough money to support me while i'm doing something that i really want to do. I say, just give it up and do what you want. Seriously, we're at this time in our lives when we can risk it all, because we don't really have anything to risk. I'd rather be 22, living in a shithole and eating leftover chinese food than 45 and miserable.
One of my friends who graduated a while back sent me this thing about the 30 people you will meet in college. There's people like "the broham", "sally activist" "the converter" etc etc. And I'm thinking about it and it's true, to a certain extent. I was the activist girl in college. I still am in a way. But I don't know if I'm different or if my school is different. But something changed my perspective along the way.
It's funny to look back and see how much I've changed. I'm sure a lot of the radical liberal activists think I've sold out. Maybe I have. But I realized that you can't ever convince anyone of anything by screaming or protesting or fighting. You have to have dialogue. You have to sit and wait patiently for some face time with the woman incharge. Petitions won't do it. Neither will threats. Protests won't do it, nor sit-ins and probably not fasts either (though I've never tried that one). Calling your representative over every little goddamn thing might help, but only if a lot of people do it. Because it's true, you are only one person. So what can you do? You have to work your way inside out. No one is going to take a radical seriously. It's simply too easy to be a radical, to put yourself up on a little soap box and lecture. It's too easy to be extreme, to cling to an ideology that only works on paper. It's harder to sit down and think. Tell me what you know. Not what you think you know, not how you feel, not a lecture on how this policy is awful and how that administration is corrupt. Tell me what you absolutely know for certain. You will find that you know very little.
I see the newer generation of activists at my college, and don't get me wrong, I think it's really awesome that they're at least trying to be heard. But I want to tell them that shouting and protesting and lecturing won't get you anywhere. Modesty will carry you farther than anger. In the end, you'll realize that all that energy you put into "fighting for the cause" could've been better used to negotiate. So many liberal activists don't even want to hear the otherside. They won't even let the other side speak. And when the other side does speak, the activists simply write down all the reasons they believe the other side is full of it. This is not dialogue or negotiation. This is two people jerking off behind a podium into a microphone. In case you couldnt tell, we want to avoid scenarios like this. What we need is fair and balanced debate, where both sides actually listen to eachother instead of criticizing eachother: "Ok we know you disagree. but what now?" What now guys? Nothing will ever be accomplished without the permission of both the minority and the majority. It's ok to be passionate about politics, but you have to have a bit of room to be compassionate too. It's ok to see the other person as "the enemy" but you have to understand your enemy in order to "defeat" them (mind you, defeat isn't really the goal, right?) You have to understand why your grandmother is so anti-abortion rights (hmmm maybe it's because she's catholic?) and respect that reason (saying someone is "wrong" because of their religion is ridiculous). I've talked with a lot of "conservatives" about "liberal activists" and I've found that's their biggest complaint: we activists don't listen, and we get carried away into extremist ego-driven lectures. It makes sense. I think about all those times I wanted to duct tape Pat Robertson's mouth shut- I don't have anything against his religious views per se, only that he says that I'm wrong and a bad person for not sharing his views. Because I feel like if he knew me, and understood what I stand for, he'd then understand that even though we don't agree, I'm not "the enemy" at all.
It's just one of those things you can't define for sure. I remember back when I used to protest, I went to a march in DC for women's rights. Some radical chrisitan groups were on the sidelines telling us we were "bad people". But then not two weeks later I was in DC for another march, this one against the war, and those same christian groups were there marching alongside me. Who is the enemy now?
So I got my perscription for the pills, and on my way home stopped at the grocery store. Picked up some cat food, a pint of ben & jerry's, and two bags of mint milanos. And as I'm checking out, I realize how ridiculously stereotypical I must look: definitely a single twenty-something female. I might as well have it stamped on my forehead "Hello I'm single: Save me before I turn into a cat lady!" Damn.
I'm doing the stereotypical "i've-got-6-weeks-of-college-left-until-the-real-world smacks-me-in-the-face" job hunt. The "oh-fuck-what-now?" job hunt. I've been looking abroad, I'm thinking Ireland or New Zealand at this point. Maybe Spain. I just can't stay on the east coast any longer. To be honest though, I'll probably end up in NYC just like everyone else. Thats one thing I love about going to a small liberal arts college- it's getting to this point where everyone's like "oh whatever, i'm never going to see you again" but you just wait! We'll run into eachother in the checkout line at Whole Foods, or in a bar somewhere downtown. Happens every time.
Whatever. Manhattan is fine, as long as I don't get one of those financial analyst consultant blah blah blah jobs. Seriously. I'd rather do manual labor than sit at a desk all day, spacing out.The sad thing is, though, so many of my talented friends have those jobs. The idea behind it: to get enough money to support me while i'm doing something that i really want to do. I say, just give it up and do what you want. Seriously, we're at this time in our lives when we can risk it all, because we don't really have anything to risk. I'd rather be 22, living in a shithole and eating leftover chinese food than 45 and miserable.
One of my friends who graduated a while back sent me this thing about the 30 people you will meet in college. There's people like "the broham", "sally activist" "the converter" etc etc. And I'm thinking about it and it's true, to a certain extent. I was the activist girl in college. I still am in a way. But I don't know if I'm different or if my school is different. But something changed my perspective along the way.
It's funny to look back and see how much I've changed. I'm sure a lot of the radical liberal activists think I've sold out. Maybe I have. But I realized that you can't ever convince anyone of anything by screaming or protesting or fighting. You have to have dialogue. You have to sit and wait patiently for some face time with the woman incharge. Petitions won't do it. Neither will threats. Protests won't do it, nor sit-ins and probably not fasts either (though I've never tried that one). Calling your representative over every little goddamn thing might help, but only if a lot of people do it. Because it's true, you are only one person. So what can you do? You have to work your way inside out. No one is going to take a radical seriously. It's simply too easy to be a radical, to put yourself up on a little soap box and lecture. It's too easy to be extreme, to cling to an ideology that only works on paper. It's harder to sit down and think. Tell me what you know. Not what you think you know, not how you feel, not a lecture on how this policy is awful and how that administration is corrupt. Tell me what you absolutely know for certain. You will find that you know very little.
I see the newer generation of activists at my college, and don't get me wrong, I think it's really awesome that they're at least trying to be heard. But I want to tell them that shouting and protesting and lecturing won't get you anywhere. Modesty will carry you farther than anger. In the end, you'll realize that all that energy you put into "fighting for the cause" could've been better used to negotiate. So many liberal activists don't even want to hear the otherside. They won't even let the other side speak. And when the other side does speak, the activists simply write down all the reasons they believe the other side is full of it. This is not dialogue or negotiation. This is two people jerking off behind a podium into a microphone. In case you couldnt tell, we want to avoid scenarios like this. What we need is fair and balanced debate, where both sides actually listen to eachother instead of criticizing eachother: "Ok we know you disagree. but what now?" What now guys? Nothing will ever be accomplished without the permission of both the minority and the majority. It's ok to be passionate about politics, but you have to have a bit of room to be compassionate too. It's ok to see the other person as "the enemy" but you have to understand your enemy in order to "defeat" them (mind you, defeat isn't really the goal, right?) You have to understand why your grandmother is so anti-abortion rights (hmmm maybe it's because she's catholic?) and respect that reason (saying someone is "wrong" because of their religion is ridiculous). I've talked with a lot of "conservatives" about "liberal activists" and I've found that's their biggest complaint: we activists don't listen, and we get carried away into extremist ego-driven lectures. It makes sense. I think about all those times I wanted to duct tape Pat Robertson's mouth shut- I don't have anything against his religious views per se, only that he says that I'm wrong and a bad person for not sharing his views. Because I feel like if he knew me, and understood what I stand for, he'd then understand that even though we don't agree, I'm not "the enemy" at all.
It's just one of those things you can't define for sure. I remember back when I used to protest, I went to a march in DC for women's rights. Some radical chrisitan groups were on the sidelines telling us we were "bad people". But then not two weeks later I was in DC for another march, this one against the war, and those same christian groups were there marching alongside me. Who is the enemy now?
posted by Jessica @ 1:04 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:24 AM,
debutard said…
I've participated in almost every protest in NYC and DC in the last 7 years...and I guess I'm guilty of being one of those people screaming and chanting and not really listening to the other side. I've never had much luck having a decent, adult conversation with ultra-conservatives anyway; EVERY SINGLE ONE would literally cover their ears and accuse me of being a terrorist supporter or antisemitic or the devil's protege.
Sometimes it does feel like protests are useless, but I feel like the letters I send to law makers and the calls I make are ignored. Protests seem more concrete, I think, b/c you're actually physically there and no one can really, really ignore your existence.
But now that I think about it, I'm probably doing it more out of a sense of obligation and guilt since I know deep-down that these protests aren't exactly changing the world or the stupidity of certain leaders.
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