A Few Figs from Thistles (and other thoughts)

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends
it will not last the night
But Ah my foes
and O my friends,
it gives a lovely light.


Second Fig

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand

-Edna St. Vincent Millay-

The concept of impermanence has been so blatant in my life recently. According to Christianity, God created the world in seven days. I'm not sure if i believe that. Creation is still happening. It happens every moment: every moment the world is simultaneously being destroyed and created. Every new second in time is an act of simultaneous destruction and creation. She is still creating it, right now. and destroying it, right now.

I've been trying this new thing, of just taking people and things for what they are and who they are without holding them to expectations. I find that for whatever reason, I just tend to expect a lot from people, and I'm almost always disappointed. Maybe instead of engaging in some kind of holy-grail search of the person who will meet my expectations, I should change my expectations: they should just be what they are and do what they do. This also ties into comparison. We expect behaviors from others because we compare them to previous encounters in our lives. We expect that a man acts a certain way on a first date. We expect girlfriends and boyfriends to react to us and our ideosyncracies the same way previous significant others have reacted to them. People are both viciously cruel and amazingly beautiful. And yeah, sure, this is not going to stop people from hurting me, or even me from hurting others, but it might help deal with disappointment. Because if you expect nothing, you can never really be disappointed.

Life is just way too fragile to weigh it down with such toxicity and negativity.